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离开启明时,我将积蓄一分为二,一份留给良子,是现钞;一份取出一部分,其余照旧存在银行,存折由我带在身上,故而我和秀一的生活不十分窘迫,但秀一唯恐我用尽了钱财就会离他而去,不肯向我索要任何花销,反而时时惦记做些来钱快的营生。他的思想很危险,这时日来钱快的买卖大多不太单纯,况且一个稚气未脱的少年人能做的好差事极其有限,多数是体力活,挣得不多,还得终日劳累奔波,我劝他不要荒废自己的头脑,既然聪明,日后有了机会,怎样的大事都做得。我说了,秀一就听从,从此日日待在院子里,侍花弄草,打水做饭,忽地进入了极为俭朴单纯的生活,其实我劝他的话他自己未必不清楚,但被什么无言的东西压迫着、催赶着,他不得已非要动起来,以谋求够得上被挽留的价值。我同报社的人取得联系,白日依旧撰文,没有课程要教授,我空闲得无所事事,尤其当应允的文章交稿以后,暂时没有写书的意愿,就只读书度日,三餐都由秀一准备妥当,乍一看来,觉得和以前的生活别无二致,除了搬到设施略逊的院子,以及陪在我身边的不是良子,而是秀一罢了。说到良子,我们在此地落脚转眼月余,她嘱咐我跟她去信,我确实一安顿下来就着手写信跟她报平安,一周内写了三封,尽如石沉大海,投落后再无回音,一星点水花也没激起。我一直写到听说敌军攻进了城,交通阻断,外头的人进不去,里头的人出不来,整个启明成了铜墙铁壁,阻隔双方的音讯往来。我停了笔,徒劳地等消息,再三个月,陆陆续续有幸存者侥幸脱逃,对外界的人讲述他们的遭遇。据说那是一场近乎无休止的、残酷的单方面屠杀。他们把城中还滞留的居民召集起来,人们茫然失措地在各个宽敞的空地列队,相近的人被一窝蜂地驱赶在一起,起初还以为是例行的宣告权力变更,之后就会放平民回家,人群恐惧中仍有希望。然而没有希望,士兵齐齐端起机枪对准百姓,没有多余的解释,没有威胁怒喝,只是面无表情地上膛——扫射,惨叫哀鸣响彻天际,爷爷护住孙子,孙子被乱枪射穿胸膛;母亲倒在女儿肩上,额头上空洞的弹孔从一头穿透另一头;父亲一声不吭地跌倒,大口大口吐出混合破碎内脏的鲜血,于是千百、上万的家庭毁灭,哀鸿遍野,只在开一轮枪的时间。听到秀一带来的消息时我还不敢置信,他飞奔跨过门槛,气喘吁吁地告诉我从逃亡到嘉庆的难民那里听说的话。我从未料到人命轻贱到如此地步,能以千为单位进行收割。从今往后启明熟悉的人事,走街串巷吆喝修补铁器、陶瓷的手艺人不见了,街道上吵闹的孩童、院前坐在摇椅或乘凉或晒太阳的人或许再见不到,那些烂熟于心的画面都能一一清晰回想起来,仿佛只要我回家去,过往的一切依旧会亘古不变地存在下去,然而变故发生得这样突然。我让秀一再三打探,看能不能弄到更多关于启明的消息,最好能弄明白良子的下落,他一次次回返,每次都以失望相告,到底了无音讯。我随秀一同去看那些难民,在本地有亲友的早去了亲友家,余下的是举目无亲的老人妇孺,他们不关心往哪儿,只要能离开启明、离开战场,他们哪儿都去得。可这些人即便逃出来,无一不是身体带了伤残,有的丢失一条腿,有的失去半个胃,有的失去未出生已死亡的胎儿和子宫,每人几乎都挨过刀枪,却因急智或幸运勉强到了安全地带。他们的目光是一致的麻木,如惊弓之鸟,透着对人类的不信任,大部分连憎恶的气力也无,只是恐惧,最天然的、发自内心深处的恐惧。我日益觉得良子恐怕已遭遇了不幸,唯一能够凭作慰藉的是,待到敌军攻入,良子的蛇伤该差不多痊愈了,真正要跑要躲,在行动上与众人无异;但是又想,有多少健全强壮的人也在这场流血事件中永恒地失却了性命,何况她一个没有自保力气的女子。这时我又希望她不要生得美丽,因那会给她遭致灭顶的灾殃。我想要她活着与我们相见,她这么害怕与我生离,怎么能先一步使自己陷入死别。秀一的脸色在得知消息那天起没有好看过,睡眠质量再次急转直降,经常在半夜惊叫醒来,悄不作声在我身边躺下,清晨起床时,我看到他面向我蜷缩在被子里,嘴唇不安地紧抿,皱着眉,拳头握得紧紧的,像要搏斗、祈祷或告罪。我问他做了怎样的梦,他从来摇摇头,以缄默回应。
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