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死之默想 周作人(第1页)

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死之默想周作人

四世纪时希腊厌世诗人巴拉达思作有一首小诗道:(Pollalaleis,anthrope-Palladas)“你太饶舌了,人呵,不久将睡在地下;“住口罢,你生存时且思索那死。”

这是很有意思的活。关于死的问题,我无事时也曾默想过(但不坐在树下,大抵是在车上),可是想不出什么来,——这或者因为我是个“乐天的诗人”的缘故吧。但其实我何尝一定崇拜死,有如曹慕管君,不过我不很能够感到死之神秘,所以不觉得有思索十日十夜之必要,于形而上的方面也就不能有所饶舌了。

窃察世人怕死的原因,自有种种不同,“以愚观之”可以定为三项:其一是怕死时的苦痛,其二是舍不得人世的快乐,其三是顾虑家族。苦痛比死还可怕,这是实在的事情。十多年前有一个远房的伯母,十分困苦,在十二月底想投河寻死(我们乡间的河是经冬不冻的),但是投了下去,她随即走了上来,说是因为水太冷了。有些人要笑她痴也未可知,但这却是真实的人情。倘若有人能够切实保证,诚如某生物学家所说,被猛兽咬死痒酥酥地很是愉快,我想一定有许多人裹粮入山去投身饲饿虎的了。可惜这一层不能担保,有些对于别项已无留恋的人因此也就不得不稍为踌躇了。

顾虑家族,大约是怕死的原因中之较小者,因为这还有救治的方法。将来如有一日,社会制度稍加改良,除施行善种的节制以外,大家不问老幼可以各尽所能,各取所需,凡平常衣食住,医药教育,均由公给,此上更好的享受再由个人的努力去取得,那么这种顾虑就可以不要,便是夜梦也一定平安得多了。不过我所说的原是空想,实现还不知在几十百千年之后,而且到底未必实现也说不定,那么也终是远水不救近火,没有什么用处。比较确实的办法还是设法发财,也可以救济这个忧虑。为得安闲的死而求发财,倒是很高雅的俗事;只是发财大不容易,不是我们都能做的事,况且天下之富人有了钱便反死不去,则此亦颇有危险也。

人世的快乐自然是很可贪恋的,但这似乎只在青年男女才深切地感到,像我们将近“不惑”的人,尝过了凡人的苦乐。

此外别无想做皇帝的野心,也就不觉得还有舍不得的快乐。我现在的快乐只是想在闲时喝一杯清茶,看点新书(虽然近来因为政府替我们储蓄,手头只有买茶的钱),无论他是讲虫鸟的歌唱,或是记贤哲的思想,古今的刻绘,都足以使我感到人生的欣幸。然而朋友来谈天的时候,也就放下书卷,何况“无私神女”(Atropos)的命令呢?我们看路上许多乞丐,都已没有人生乐趣,却是苦苦地要活着,可见快乐未必是怕死的重大原因:或者舍不得人世的苦辛也足以叫人留恋这个尘世罢。讲到他们,实在已是了无牵挂,大可“来去自由”,实际却不能如此,倘若不是为了上边所说的原因,一定是因为怕河水比彻骨的北风更冷的缘故了。

对于“不死”的问题,又有什么意见呢?因为少年时当过五六年的水兵,头脑中多少受了唯物论的影响,总觉得造不起“不死”这个观念来,虽然我很喜欢听荒唐的神话。即使照神话故事所讲,那种长生不老的生活我也一点儿都不喜欢。住在冷冰冰的金门玉阶的屋里,吃着五香牛肉一类的麟肝凤脯,天天游手好闲,不在松树下着棋,便同金童玉女厮混,也不见得有什么趣味,况且永远如此,更是单调而且困倦了。又听人说,仙家的时间是与凡人不同的,诗云“山中方七日,世上已千年”,所以烂柯山下的六十年在棋枰边只是半个时辰耳,哪里会有日子太长之感呢?但是由我看来,仙人活了两百万岁也只抵得人间的四十春秋,这样浪费时间无裨实际的生活,殊不值得费尽了心机去求得他;倘若两百万年后劫波到来,就此溘然,将被五十岁的凡夫所笑。较好一点的还是那西方凤鸟(Phoenix)的办法,活上五百年,便尔蜕去,化为幼风,这样的轮回倒很好玩的,——可惜他们是只此一家,别人不能仿作。大约我们还只好在这被容许的时光中,就这平凡的境地中,寻得些须的安闲悦乐,即是无上幸福:至于“死后,如何?”的问题,乃是神秘派诗人的领域,我们平凡人对于成仙做鬼都不关心,于此自然就没有什么兴趣了。

章节目录

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