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第1章(第1页)

章节目录保存书签

“淦!我都快死翘翘了,神明大佬您就别玩弄我了行不?”

张扬缩在被窝里,看着面前温文尔雅的,身上散发着柔和光辉的男人,吓得瑟瑟发抖。

三分钟前,这个一脸猥琐的男人突然从窗户外爬进了自己的房间,还叫唤着自己是什么母系之神,感受到自己的执念啥的,非要和自己唠嗑。

那张扬是谁啊?

十句话能有十一句是假话的撒谎大王,怎么可能承认自己恋母的癖好,装疯卖傻了一会后,他便躲进了被窝,思索着等会该如何逃命。

“呵,还挺有意思的,那我走了哈,我倒要看看,没了我的帮助,你晚上出去,究竟会被你那位漂亮霸道的老妈用哪种方式分尸,嘿嘿嘿~”

母系之神猥琐地笑了笑,然后又爬到了窗户边,打算远走高飞。

“卧槽,分尸,没那么狠吧!不,不就是用老妈的内裤撸了一发……”

“呐,暴露了吧!我就说你小子之前肯定撒谎!”

“操,现在是纠结这个问题的时候吗!我问你,我不会真的会被打死吧?”

“不会。”

“嗯?”

“嗯什么嗯?我明明看到你老妈在厨房里磨刀,还说什么要让张家断子绝孙,如果不是分尸的话……”

猥琐的母系之神瞥了一眼张扬的裤裆,若有所思地点点头。

刚刚离开被子的张扬吓了一大跳。

自己可还是黄花大帅逼,还没让大鸡巴体验一把被小嫩穴夹紧的快感,怎么可以就这样结束自己男性的一生?

不行,绝对不行!

在心里狠狠否定一番后,张扬第一次主动靠近了这个看似牛逼,实则猥琐的神……经病身边。

“老哥,要不你带我跑吧?我看你从十六楼下来,都不带喘气的,教教我呗。”

为了后半生大鸡巴的幸福,张扬决定铤而走险,自己家又不是在什么高楼大厦,十五楼而已,摔下去还有全尸,不亏。

“宁愿死也不相信本神明?”

母系之神摸了摸下巴,略带不屑地瞥了张扬一眼。

“信,我当然信啊,对了,老哥等会你爬下去的时候,多指导我一下,有必要的话,可以死死拉住我的手……”

张扬不假思索地说道,神明不神明的,干他逃跑何事?

“本神明真的有那么掉价!不信我是吧!你等着,现在我就帮你找个最强的催眠道具!我就不信了,我堂堂神明,还治不住你个小屁孩!”

“老哥,我17了,明年成年。”

“滚滚滚,别烦本神明,我TM地活几十亿年了,第一次碰到你这种脑瘫!气死个神!”

母系之神暗骂一句,一脚把张扬踹回了床上。

在自己的神明空间里摸索了好一会后,这位被张扬气得不轻的母系之神,总算在数以亿计的宝物里,找到了操作最为简单的催眠道具。

“美妈编辑器,说明书就在编辑器里,自己看!妈的,这都什么破事!早知道这样,我就不下来了……”母系之神骂骂咧咧,身子爬到了窗户上,“走了走了,这人间,不留也……卧槽,踩空了?啊~”

听着母系之神坠楼前的可怕惨叫声,张扬无语地揉了揉脸庞。

“这神明,简直low到爆了!”

虽然心里面飘着一万个离谱,但张扬还是老老实实地接过了神明丢来的,像是老式计算器般的玩意。

“美妈编辑器?哦!居然还有解释说明……真的假的?”

……

经过两个小时的刻苦钻研,张扬用比平时上课还要认真百倍的态度,可算理解了这老式计算……哦不,美妈编辑器的作用。

“好家伙,吹得挺玄乎的,要是不管用,你就跟我一起跳楼吧!”

虽然这玩意的说明离谱,并非当前人类的科技水平可以制造出来的,但总归得试试。

凡事总得有个万一嘛!

万一自己对着老妈大喊“编辑”的诡异举动起了作用,当老妈以为自己只是精神错乱,而不是对亲生妈妈发情了,或许也能逃过一劫不是?

章节目录

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