Text C Nature and Human Nature（第1页）

TextatureandHumanNature

ThomasdlerHaliburton

[1]ThinksItomyself，asIoverheardapersoheservantatthedoor，inanunmistakeablevoie，“IstheSquiretohome?”ThatoohanmyoldfriendSamSliaker。Butititofnodoubtwhenheproceeded，“Ifheis，tellhimIamhere。”

[2]“WhoshallIsay，Sir?”

[3]Thestrangerpausedamoment，andthensaid，“It’ssueverlastinglothinkyoucarryitalltoworst，andIdon’twantitbrokei’sagecalculatestoholdaprotractedmeeti。e，don’tstandstariraightgetruyineing?Shuntoffnow。”

[4]“Ah，myoldfriend，”saidI，advandshakinghimbythehand，“howareyou?”

[5]“Asheartyasabuck，”hereplied，“thoughI’tjustjumpquitesohighnow。”

[6]“Iknewyou，”Isaid，“themomentIheardyourvoidifIhadn，Ishouldhavekno>

[7]“That’sbecauseIamaYankee，Sir，”hesaid，“notwoofuslookalike，ortalkalike;butbeingfreeaeizealkas>

[8]“Ah，mygoodfriend，youalleasewhenyoutalk，andthatismorethanbesaidofmostmen。”

[9]“Andsowillyou，”hereplied，“ifyouusesoftsawderthatway。Oh，dearme!Itseemsbuttheotherdaythatyoulaughedsoatmytheoryofsoftsawderandhumait?Theywerepleasantdays，wereenthihihpleasuretoo。AsIassingHalifaxharbor，onmywayhomeinthe‘BlackHawk，’thewindfortunatelycameahead，andthinksItomyself，Iwillputinthere，andpullfootforWindsoraheSquire，givehimmyjournal，andspendanhourortwowithhimoncemore。SohereIam，atleastwhatisleftofme，anddreadfulgladIamtoseeyoutoo;butasitisaboutyourdinnerhoandtitivateupabit，andthenwewillhaveadishofchatfordesert，andindusofby-gohroughyourshadywalkshere。”

[10]Myoldfriendhadasstillawiryathletidhisstepaselastidsprihetexercisehehadbeeoftakinghadpreservedhishealthand，aheirturnhadeomaintainhisessandhumor。Thelinesinhisfaeer，aragglinggreyhairsweretheohehandoftime。Hismannerwasmuchimprovedbyhisihegreatworld;buthisphraseology，inearedtotakebothprideandpleasure，wasmuchthesameaswhenIfirstknewhim。Solittleindeedwasheged，thatIcouldscarcelybelievesomanyyearshadelapsedsincewemadeourfirsttether。

[11]Itwasthemostuedandagreeablevisit。Heeheversatiohawereoftentoravityofmyservant，whoowicelefttheroomtoavoidexplosiveoutbreaksoflaughter。Amooldmethefollowingwhimsicalstory。

[12]“Whenthe‘BlackHawk’wasatCauseau，eohaveaqueerinalsortofman，aNovaScotiadoboard，whojoinedourpartyatShipHarbor，forthepurposeoftakingacruisewithus。Nothavinganythiiculartodo，weleftthevesselandtookpassageinacoasterforPrinceEdward’sIsland，asmyissioospendadayortwothere，ahefisheries。Well，althoughIdon’ttradeesometimeswhesmartdespeciallyifthereisfuion。So，saidI，‘Doctor，Iossumwiththesefolks，andtakeariseoutofthem，thatwillastonishtheirweaknerves，Ikseveralhundreddollarsihesametime。’SoIadvertisedthatIwouldgivefourpoundstenshillingsfesthackmatatheisland，fourpoundsforthesed，threepoundstenshillingsforthethird，andthreepoundsforthefestone。Isuppose，Squire，youkno’skneeis，don’tyou?Itisacrookedpieber，exactlytheshapeofaman’slegwheformstwosidesofasquare，andmakesagrandfasteningforthesideanddeckbeamsofavessel。

[13]“‘Whatintheworlddoyouwantofonlyfourofthoseknees?’saidtheDoctor。”

[14]“‘Nothing，’saidI，‘buttoraisealaughoers，ahempayrealhahejoke。’”

[15]“Well，everybushwhadferihoughthekofindfourenormousohathewouldgoahem，andsaynothingtonobody，andallthatmfixedforthedeliverytheykeptingintotheshippihem。People’tthinkwhatuofthelivingsunwasgoingon，foritseemedasifeveryteamintheproviwork，arymenwererunningmadonjunipers。Perhapsnolivingsouleverseesuchabeautifulofship-timberafore，andIamsureneverwillagaininacrow’sage。Thewaythese‘oldoysters’（aheislanders，onatoftheireverlastihisshell-fish）opeheirmugsandgapedwasatodyingcalves。”

[16]“Atthetimeappoiherewereeighthuithegrouinthey。Well，Iwentverygravelyrouhefest，andpaidforthemonthenail，agtooheirfix，butdidn’tknowhowtheygotithinkhardofme，forIadvertisedforfourstily，andIgaveaveryhighpri;buttheydidthinkalittlemeanofthemselves，that’safaanhadbutfourpiedtheyweretooridiculeforthethunderingsmallvesselsbuiltoheyscratchedtheirheadsinaiubblefield。

[17]“‘Mygracious，’saidI，‘hackmatacks，itseemstome，isasthithistryasblackberriesintheFall，aftertherobiogotosleepforthewinter。Whoohwouldhavethoughttherewassomanyhere?Oh，ofIsrael!Whatalotthereis，ishefatherofthisisland’tholdthemall。’”

[18]“‘Fatherofthisisland，’saidthey，‘whoishe?’”

[19]“‘Why，’saidI，‘ain’tthisPrinceEdward’s?’”

[20]“‘Why，yes，’saidthey，lookingstillmorepuzzled。”

[21]“‘Well，’saidI，‘inthemiddleofHalifaxharbGee’sIsland，andthatmustbethefatherofthis。’”

[22]“Welliftheycouldseeanyeech，itismorethanIysoulalive;butitistheeasiestthiosetacrowdoffatee-heeihelpit，foritiselectrical。Gototheow，andyouidjokeofthe;well，youaredeterminedyouwon’tlaugh，butsomehoitnohowyoufixit，althoughyouaremadwithyourselffso，andyoujustroarafoolasalltherest。”

[23]“Wellitmadethemlaugh，andthatwasenoughforme。

[24]“SaidI，‘theworstofitis，geheyareallsoshe，andthereisnosmallohem;they’tbedividedintolots，still，asyouseemtobedisappointed，Iwillmakeyouahem，，allhardgold。’SoIgavethemabidataverylowfigure，sayhalfnothing，‘and，’saidI，‘Iadviseyounottotakeit，theyareworthmuchmore，ifamanonlyknowswhattodowiththem。Someofyourtraders，Imakenomannerofdoubt，willgiveyoutwiceasmuchifyouwillonlytakeyoods，atfourtimestheirvalue，aheymightnotlikeythemter，fortheyareallresponsiblegover-men，andactag“tothewelluoodwishesofthepeople。”Ishallsailintwohours，andyouletmeknow;butmind，Ilybuyallornone，forIshallhavetohireavesseltocarrythem。Afterall，’saidI，‘perhapswehadbetterakingoutahandfulnsfrommypodjihereisnotwowaysaboutit;theselittlefellowsareeasiertocarrybyalongthemgreatLumpkinhackmatacks。Good-bye，gentlemen。’”

[25]“Well，oers，kwardasawrongboot，sooncallsout，‘woh，’tome，soIturnedandsaid‘well，“oldhoss，”whatdoyouwant?’Atwhichtheylaughedlouderthanbefore。”

[26]“Saidhe，‘wehavecludedtotakeyouroffer。’”

[1855]

Notes

&isthefirstNatureandHumanNature（1855）byThomasdlerHaliburton，titled“Surprise”。

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