Text B Is Love an Art（第1页）

TextBIsLoveanArt?

Eri

Pre-reading

Eriararch18，198ermanyaedasapsyalyst。IedtotheUes，whereheservedasaprofessoratbiaUyandNewYorkUy，andtraveledwidelytospeakatotheruhroughoutNorthAmerica。Eriisreciatedforhisinsightsoionshipsaim’swritiableasmuchfortheirsodpolitientaryasfortheirphilosophidpsychologiderpinnings。HisimportantworksincludeEs（1941），afoundingworkofpolitianforHimself:AnInquiryintothePsychologyofEthics（1947），outliningFromm’stheoryofhumaheSay（1955），arguinginfavorofahumanistiddemo。

&ofLoving，firstpublishedin1956，isFromm’smostpopularbook。Inthisbook，Frommsiderslovetobeaninterpersoivehumancapacityratherthaioheexperienceof“fallinginlove”asevidene’sfailuretouhetruenatureoflove，whichhebelievesalwaysiheentsofcare，responsibility，respeowledge。Seeerms，loveishardwork，butitisalsothemkindofwork，aytolovebeesoimportantthingsinlife。

&ingloveasaskillthatbetaughtanddeveloped，Frommrejectstheideaofloveassomethingmagidmysteriousthatotbeanalyzedandexplained。Frommdemo，althoughmodernhumaedfromeachotherandfromheyseekrefugefromtheiralonenessinromantiarriage，thequalitiesofdresponsibilityaregenerallyabsentfrommosthumaiosthatfewpeopleiyhaverespectfortheautonomyoftheirfellowhumanbeings，muchlesstheobjeowledgeofeopletrulywarastibeliefthatacoupleshouldbeawell-assortedteam，sexuallyandfunally，wtowardsa，Frommdescribestrueloveandintimatermsofwillfuleleuniqueindividual。

ThefollowiheForeart1takeheArtofLoving。

Promptsf

1。Wouldyouexpetentofthefollowiobelikewhataso-calledrelationshipcoach’sadviingloveandromance?

2。Whatisthepurposeoftheforeword?

3。WhatdoesFrommmeanby“loving”?

4。Part1maihtwoquestions。Whatarethey?

5。Horemisesaretherebehiudethatthereisnothingtobelearlove?remises?

6。Whatismeantbya“loveobject”?

7。Whatgeswhichothetweuryhaveeheimportahechoiceofa“loveobject”?

8。Whatisthediffereween“falling”ihepermaeofbeinginlove?

9。Whataretheepsinlearninganyart?

10。Whatisthegenerallogidtheanizatiohispassage?Workoutanideaflowcharttoillustratetrainofthoughtinthispassage。

11。Howdoestheauthorachievebeingadbeithesametime?

Foreword

[1]Thereadingofthisbookointingexperienyoseasyinstrutheartofloving。Thisbook，orary，wantstoshowthatloveiswhibeeasilyindulgedinbyanyardlessofthelevelofmaturityreachedbyhim。Itwantstocethereaderthatallhisattemptsforloveareboundtofail，uriesmostactivelytodevelophistotalpersonality，soastoachieveaproductiveorientation;that，satisfaindividualloveotbeattaithecapacitytoloveone’sneighbor，withouttruehumility，ce，faithanddise。Inawhichthesequalitiesarerare，theattaihecapaustremainarareat。Or—anyoneaskhimselfhowmanytrulylovingpersonshehasknown。

[2]Yet，thedifficultyofthetaskmustnotbeareasontoabstainfrtoknowthedifficultiesaswellasthesforitsat。ToavoidunneplisIhavetriedtodealwiththeprobleminalanguagewhi-teicalasfarasthisispossible。ForthesamereasonIhavealsokepttoamiotheliteratureonlove。

[3]ForanotherproblemIdidnotfindapletelysatisfactorysolution;that，namely，ofavoidiionofideasexpressedinpreviousbooksofmihereaderfamiliar，especially，efromFreedom，ManforHimself，andTheSay，willfindinthisbookmanyideasexpressedinthepreviousworks。However，TheArtofLovingisbynomeansmaiiosmanyideasbeyondthepreviouslyexpressedones，aurallyevenolderoimesgaiivesbythefactthattheyareallteredarouhatoftheartofloving。

[4]“Hewhoknowsnothihing。Hewhoothiandsnothing。Hewhouandsnothingisworthless。Buthewhouandsalsoloves，notices，sees。。。Themoreknowledgeisihierthelove。。。Anyonewhoimagiallfruitsripeimeasthestrawberriesknowsnothingaboutgrapes。”

—Paracelsus1

Part1IsLoveanArt?

[5]Islovearequiresknowledgea。Orisloveapleasaion，whichtoexperieterofethingone“fallsinto”ifoneislucky?Thislittlebookisbasedontheformerpremise，whileuhemajorityofpeopletodaybelieveier。

[6]Notthatpeoplethinkthatloveisnotimportaarvedforit;theywatdlessnumbersoffilmsabouthappyandunhappylovestories;theylistentohurashysongsaboutlove—yethardlyahatthereisanythiobelearlove。

[7]Thispeculiarattitudeisbasedonseveralpremiseswhicheithersinglyorbioupholdit。Mostpeopleseetheproblemofloveprimarilyasthatofbeiherthanthatofloving，ofone’scapacitytolove。Heheproblemtothemishowtobeloved，howtobelovable。Inpursuitofthisaimtheyfolloaths。One，whichisespeciallyusedbymen，istobesuccessful，tobeaspowerfulandrichasthesiios。Another，usedespeciallybywomen，istomakeoractive，bygone’sbody，dress，etc。Otherwaysofmakiractive，usedbothbymeodeveloppleasaerestiion，tobehelpful，modest，andinoffensive。Maomakeoneselflovablearethesameasthoseusedtomakeoneselfsuccessful，“towinfriendsandinfluencepeople”。Asamatteroffact，eopleinourculturemeanbybeinglovableisessentiallyamixturebetweenbeingpopularandhavingsexappeal。

[8]Aseisebehiudethatthereisnothingtobelearloveistheassumptionthattheproblemofloveistheproblemofaheproblemofafaculty3。Peoplethinkthattoloveissimple，butthattofiobjecttolove—ortobelovedby—isdifficult。Thisattitudehasseveralreasohedevelopmey。Ohegreatgewhichothetwehrespecttothechoiceofa“loveobject”。

[9]Ie，asinmanytraditionalcultures，lovewasmostlynotaspontaneouspersonalexperiehee。Orary，marriagewastractedby—eitherbytherespectivefamilies，orbyamarriagebroker4，orwithoutthehelpofsutermediaries5;itwasthebasisofsosiderations，andloveosedtodevelopohemarriagehadbeehelastfewgeheanticlovehasbeostuhewesternworld。IedStates，whilesiderationsofaalirelyabsent，toavastextentpeopleareinsearahepersonalexperienceoflovewhishouldleadte。Thisoffreedomihavegreatlyeheimportaasagaiaion。

[10]Closelyrelatedtothisfaotherfeaturecharacteristiporaryculture。Ourwholecultureisbasedoef，ontheideaofamutuallyfavorableexan’shappinesssistsihrilloflookingattheshopwindows，andinbuyingallthatheaffordtobuy，eitherforis。He（orshe）looksatpeopleinasimilarway。Forthemananattractivegirl—andforthewomananattra—aretheprizestheyareafter。“Attractive”usuallymeansanicepackage6ofqualitiesularandsoughtafteroymarket。ecificallymakesapersonattractivedependsonthefashioime，physicallyaswellasmentally。Duriies，adrinkingandsmhandsexy，wasattractive;todaythefashiondemaidess。Attheeeenthandthebeginningofthistury，amanhadtobeaggressiveandambitious;todayhehastobesodtoleraobeanattractive“package”。

[11]Atahesenseoffallinginlovedevelopsusuallyonlywithregardtosuoditiesasarewithinreae’sownpossibilitiesfe。Iamaishouldbedesirablefromthestandpointofitssocialvalue，aimeshouldwantme，gmyovertasaies。Twopersonsthusfalliheyfeeltheyhavefouavailableo，gthelimitationsoftheirownexgevalues。Often，asinbuyihehiddeieswhibedevelopedplayasiderableroleinthisbargain。Inawhichthemarketiionprevails，andinwhichmaterialsuccessistheoutstandihereislittlereasontobesurprisedthathumaionsfolloatternofexgewhistheodityandthelabormarket。

[12]Thethirderrtotheassumptiohingtobelearloveliesinthebetweeialexperienceof“falling”ihepermaeofbeinginlove，oraswemightbettersay，of“standing”iwopeoplewhohavebeenstrangers，asallofusare，suddehewallbetweenthembreakdown，andfeelclose，feelohismomentofonenessisoexhilaratiingexperienlife。Itisallthemorewonderfulandmiraculousforpersonswhohavebeenshutoff，isolated，withoutlove。Thismiracleofsuddenintimacyisoftenfacilitatedifitisbih，orinitiatedby，sexualattradatioypeofloveisbyitsveryiwopersonsbeewellated，theirintimaoreasmiraculouscharatiltheirantagonism，theirdisappoiheirmutualboredomkillwhateverisleftofthei。Yetiheydonotknowallthis:infact，theytaketheiyoftheinfatuation7forproofoftheiyoftheirlove，whileitmayohedegreeoftheirpreeliness。