第18章 青春不散场 17（第1页）

第18章青春不散场（17）

&uesdaycame。Iwroteonmycard，“Astittimegathersnomoss。”Again，nhim，Iyselfwithhumor，whichhadalwaysbeedefeunwahehecardcamebackwiththisnote：“Youseemtohaveasenseofhumor。Isthisanimportantpartofyourlife？”

Whatdidheasgoingonhere？I’trememberateagpersonallyaboutmesiaryschool。Whatdidthisman>

Now，Irathehallway，10mioclass。Justoutsidethedoor，Itookanindexynotebookandwrotemyhedateoeforsomethingtowriteonit，IlythinkaboutthefightI’djusthadwithmydad。“Iamthesonofanidiot！”Iwroteandtheheroom。Hestood，gadisearthedupatme，hereachedoutforthedIhaohimandtookmyseat。

&Ireachedmyseat，Ifeltoverwhelmedwithdread，whathadIdoo！Ididthatout。Nowhe’llknowaboutmyamydad，aboutmylife！Idohingabouttherestofthatclasssession。AllIkabout>

Ihaddifficultysleepingthatnight，filledwithanamelessdread。Whatcouldthesecardsbeallabout？WhydidItellhimthataboutmydad？Supposeheydad？Whatbusiofhisany>

Wednesdaymarrivedalygotreadyforschool。WhenIgottotheclass，Iwasearly。IwainbadhideasbestIcould。TheclassbeganandDr。Simonbegangivingbackthethoughtcards。Heputmihedeskfaaswashisusualpractice。Ipickeditup，almostuurnitover。

Whehefaceofthecard，hehadwritten，“Whatdoes‘thesonofanidiot’dowiththerestofhislife？”Itfeltlikesomeonehadpuhestomach。IhadspentalotoftimehangingoutiualkingwithmenabouttheproblemsIhad“beyparents”。Aoo，sharedthesamesortofmaterialwithme。Noonegedaakerespossibilityforhimself。No，tedtheparent-blamihrelief。Everythingarents’fault。Ifwedidpoorlyos，blameMom。Ifwejustmissedgetti-aidjob，blameDad。Itlyplaimyfolksandalltheguysnoddedsagely。Thesefolkswhthetuitioainlyaninterferingbunchoffools，weren’tthey？

SidneySimo-seemiioballoon。Itghttotheheartoftheissue：Whoseproblemisit？Whoseresponsibilityareyou？

Iskippedgoiunionthatdayaraighthelydepressed，ed。AlleveningIthoughtaboutitandaboutsomethingmymotherhadsaid：“Themillionairecallshimselfa‘self-mademan，’butifhegetsarrested，heblameshisabusiveparents。”

IwishIcouldsaythatIexperiencedamagisformationbutitwasn’ttrue。However，Dr。Simowasinsidious。Itkeptingupinmymihefewweeks。Againandagain，asIheardmyselfblamingmyfatherforthisorthat，alittleinternalvoicesaid，“Okay，supposeyourfatherisallthosebadthingsyousaid。Howlongdoyouthinkyougetawaywithblaminghimforyourlife？”

Slowly，inexorably，mythinkingshifted。Iheardmyselfblamingalot。Afterawhile，IrealizedthatIhadcreatedalifeinwhiure！Iwastheobjectoftheaotthesubject。ThatfeltevenmoreunfortablethananyfeelingIhadinDr。Simon’sclass。Ididn’twa。Iwaor，heprocessofgrowthwasn’teasyorfast。IttookoverayearbeforepeopleIonsibilityformyownayownyownfeelings。Irisedathorovedinallmysubjects。Iwasastouheihenumber—andquality—ofmyfriends。Iwasequallyastonishedbyhowmuchsmartermyfatherseemed。

Allthroughthisprocess，Ikeptsendinginmythoughtcards。Later，Itookanothercoursewiththisueacher。IworkedharderforhimthanIhadinanyotherclassIhadevertakehoughtcardcamemoreuliiht。

Severalyearslater，Iwasastoumyress。Fr，margiIbecameasuccessfulstudentandthenasuccessfulhighschoolteacher。Iwentfromtangerandtavoidaheneylifetosomeonewhized，excited，purposefulandevenjoyful。

&ionshipwithmyfatheralsoimproveddramatistead，nowIsawhimasedandg。Ireizedthathedidh”arehisiionswereverylovisdiminishedandfinallydisappeared。Ilearherasasmart，wiseandlovingman。Anditallstartedwithaquestion，a-seemiion。

我不得不承认，大学一年级的我仍然是一个脾气暴躁的青年。无论怎样，我看这个世界总是不顺眼，到处发脾气。我觉得从父母那里根本得不到快乐，这也是我生气的主要原因。父亲的管教更加令我恼火。

因为经济上的原因，我选择了一所当地的大学，每天乘坐公交车去上课。一天，我与父亲大吵了一架。我觉得，他总是试图控制我，然而，我想挣脱这种束缚，过自由的生活。他竭力维护自己的家长权威，说我太叛逆。我们两个人都气急败坏地大叫起来。我怒气冲冲地出了门，到车站时已经错过了一班车。如果坐下一班车，我就会因迟到而赶不上教育课。一想到这里，我就更加气愤。

在去学校的路上，我一直在发火和叹息。整个大脑塞满了我对父亲的愤恨，就像许多小青年一样，以自我为中心，并且深信这个世界上没有一个人像我这样悲惨，遇上这么一个不通情理的父亲，还受到这么不公平的对待。毕竟，我是一名风华正茂的大学生，而我的父亲甚至连高中都没有念完。与他相比，我强得多了，他有什么资格干涉我的生活和理想呢？

我向上教育课的教学楼跑去，当我穿过校园弯曲的小径时，忽然想起要交的作业“思想卡”，然而，我还没有写完。

西德尼？毕？西蒙博士担任这门课的教师，他是这个学校里最有个性的老师。人们常常这样谈论西蒙博士：他采用的教学方法和过程很独特，他制定了具有革命性的学习评价原则成绩评估，他使用的教学方法令人目不暇接。