第5章 爱在无语时Words from a Father2（第1页）

第5章爱在无语时WordsfromaFather（2）

Inhisroom，Daretchedoutoartedtoleaveforthetriphome。Itriedtothiosaytogivehimdceashestartedthisnewphaseoflife。Again，wordsfailedme。Imumbledsomethinglike，“HopeyoufeelbetterDan。”A。

Now，asIstoodbeforehim，Ithoughtofthoselostopportunities。Howmanytimeshaveweallletsuentspass?Aboygraduatesfromschool，adaughtergetsmarried。Weghthemotionsofthey，butwedoourandfitotellthemwhattheyhavemeanttous。Orwhattheymightexpecttofatheyearsahead。

Howfasttheyearshadpassed。DanielwasborninNewOrleans，LA。，in1962，slowtowalkandtalk，andsmallofstature。Hewasthetiinhisclass，buthedeveloingnatureandularwithhispeers。Hewasatedandagile，andhebecameadeptinsports。

Baseballgavehimhisearliestge。HewasanoutstandileLeague，aually，asasenihsadethevarsity，winninghalftheteam’sgameswitharecordoffivewinsandtwolosses。Atgraduation，theedDaeam’smostvaluableplayer。

Hisfihough，cameataschoolscefair。Heenteredashowiorysystemworks。Itrimitiveandcrude，espeparedtothefanputerized，blinking-lightmodelseherstudents。Mywife，Sara，feltembarrassedforhim。

Itturhattheotherkidshadheirowshadmadetheirexhibits。Asthejudgeswentontheirrouhattheseotherkids’taions。DanielansweredeveryohejudgesawardedtheAlbertEinsteihebestexhibit，theygaveittohim。

BythetimeDafehestoodsixfeettallandweighed170pounds。Hewasmusdiion，buthe，havinggivenupbaseballflishliterature。Iwassorrythathewouldnotdevelophisathletit，butproudthathehadmadesuchamaturede。

&oldDahegreatfailinginmylifehadbeenthatIdidn’ttakeayearortwoofftotravelwhenIfinishedcollege。Thisisthebestway，tomywayofthinking，tobroadenoneselfanddevelerperspelife。OnceIhadmarriedandbegunw，Ifoundthatthedreamoflivingiurehadvanished。

&aboutthis。Hisfriendssaidthathewouldbeihishold。Buthedecideditwasn’tsocrazy。Aftergraduation，heworkedasawaiteratcollege，abikemessengeraer。Withthemoneyheearned，hehadenoughtogotoParis。

&beforehewastoleave，Itossediryingtofigureoutsomethingtosay。Nothiomihought，itwasosayanything。

Whatdoesitmatterinthecourseofalife-timeifafatherellsasohinksofhim?ButasIstoodbeforeDadoesmatter。Myfatheraher。Yet，Ialwaysregrettedneverhearinghimputhisfeelingsintowordsandneverhavihatmoment。Now，Icouldfeelmypalmssweatandmythroattighten。Whyisitsohardtotellasohingfromtheheart?Mymouthturneddry，andIknewIwouldbeabletogetoutonlyafew

“Daniel，”Isaid，“ifIcouldhavepicked，Iickedyou。”That’sallIcouldsay。Iwasn’tsureheuoodwhatImeaowardmeandthrewhisarmsaroundme。Foramoment，theworldandallitspeoplevaherewasjustDanielandmeihesea。Hewassayimyeyesmistedover，andI’tuandwhathewassaying。AllIasthestubbleonhisashisfacepressedagaiheeowork，aafewhourslaterwithhisgirlfriend。

Thatwassevenweeksago，andIthinkabouthimwhenIwalkalongthebeaweekends。Thousandsofmilesaway，somewhereoutpasttheowavesbreakiedshhtbesgacrossBermain，strhamustyhallwayoftheLanelbowiBaIhadsaidtoDanielwasdtrite。Itwasnothiwaseverything。