第11章 长大成人When Allie Left Home2(第1页)
第11章长大成人WheHome(2)
&—afteralongperiodofsileweenus—IaskedwhatImighthavedoneorsaidtrywithme。Shesighedandsaid,“Mom,youhavehing。It’sfiisfidistant。
&hepastwehadalwaysfouoeAlliewasatoddler,Iwouldgototheday-terafterwork。I’dfiandshewouldnurse—oureyeslockedtogether,regwitheachother。
Inmiddlesothermotherswerealreadylameraheyfeltwiththeiradolestdaughters,Ihituponasolution:rescueraids。Iwouldshowupoallyatsheroutofdtakehersomewhere—outtolunovies,walkomaysoundirrespokeptusothermothersanddaughterswerefl。Wetalkedaboings—outifromfamilyandfriends。
&artedhighschool,I’dgetupwithherinthemtomakeherasandwidwe’dsilentlydrinkacupofteatogetherbeforethe6:40buscame。
Aesduringherseioff,butbeforesheweontheedgeofherbed,aellmeaboutproblems:ateacherwhradebecauseshewastooshytotalkinclass,aboywhoteasedher,afriendwhohadstartedsmoking。Hervoiingoutofthedarkness,wasyouioning。
AfewdayslaterI’dhearheronthephsomeofthethingsIhadsaid,thingsshehadadoptedforherown。
Butwokindss。Iwaicizedversiotolundleanacrossthetableandsayhoillmisseachother。Iwahroughtears,bittersweetmomentsofremiheelastbitsofwisdom。
Butasshepreparestodepart,Allie’sfeelingshaveground。Wheouchherarm,shepullsaway。Sheturnsdowatioend。Sheliesonherbed,readingEmilyDitilIsaylhavealwayslovedEmilyDidthehebook。
&hetighteryourbondwithyourchild,thegreaterherobreakaway,toestablishherowyihemoreitwillhurt,theysay。Afriethroughadifficulttimewithherdaughterbutnowhasbeeclain,tellsme,“Yhterwillbebacktoyou,”
“Idon’tknow,”Isay。IsometimesfeelsoangrythatIwanttogooverandshakeAllie。Iwanttosay,“Talktrounded!”Ifeelmyselfwantingtosaythatmosthorribleofallmotherphrases:“ThihingI’vedoneforyou。”
Lateo,asI’mgettingreadyforbed,sheestothebathroomdoorandwatchesmebrushmyteeth。Foramoment,IthinkImustbebrushihinawayshedoesn’tapproveof。Butthenshesays,“Iwanttoreadyousomething。”It’sapamphletfre。“Thesearetipsforparents。”
Iwatchherfaceasshereadstheadvicealoud:“‘Don’taskyourchildifsheishomesick,’itsays。‘Shemightfeelbadthefirstfewweeks,butdoworryyou。Thisisanaturaltimeoftransitioersa。Sendapackageofgoodies。。。’”
Hervoicebreaks,andsheeandburiesherheadinmyshoulder。Istrhtly,afraidshe’llboltifIsayaword。Westaherfmoments,swayiing。
Iknowitwillbehardagain。It’slikelytherewillbeafightaboutsomething。ButIamgratefultobestandimidnight,bothofustiredandsad,toothpastesmearedonmy,holdingtightto—whilealsolettinggoof—mydaughterwhtosaygood-bye。