第46章 思想的守望者 13(第1页)
第46章思想的守望者(13)
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1。Insteadofbloiththewind,theyaroseagainstittoachievegreatheights。
blowaway:吹走;驱散
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&freedomfromrestraintsimplyputitatthemeruicbreeze。
atthemercyof:受……支配
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心灵的语言
ASimpleWaytoMakeaGoodFirstImpression
戴尔?卡耐基Daleegie
AtadiyinNewYork,os,awomanwhohadiedmoomakeapleasingimpressiononeveryone。Shehadsquanderedamodestfortuneonsables,diamoshehadhiherface。Itradiatedsournessandselfishrealizewhateveryonektheexpressiononewearsonone’sfaceisfarmoreimportantthahesonewearsonone’sback。
CharlesSehissmilehadbeenworthamilliondollars。Andherobablyuih。ForSchersonality,hischarms,hisabilitytomakepeoplelikehim,werealmostwhollyresponsibleforhisextraordinarysudodelightfulfahispersonalitytivatingsmile。
Asspeaklouderthanwords,andasmilesays,“Ilikeyou,youmakemehappy。Iamgladtoseeyou。”Thatiswhydogsmakesuchahit。Theyaresogladtoseeusthattheyalmostjumpoutoftheirskins。So,naturally,wearegladtoseethem。
Ababy’ssmilehasthesameeffect。Haveyoueverbeeninadoctor’swaitingroomandlookedaroundatalltheglumfagimpatientlytobeseen?Dr。StephenK。Sproul,aveterinarianinRaytown,Missouri,toldofatypigdaywhenhiswaitingroomwasfulloftswaitiheirpetsinoooalkingtoanyoneelse,andallwereprobablythinkingofadstheywouldratherbedoingthan“wastiinginthatoffice。Hetoldoneofourclasses:
“Thereweresixorseveingwhenayoungwomahah-oldbabyandakitten。Asluckwouldhaveit,shesatdowoagentlemanwhowasmoretharaughtaboutthelongwaitforserviextthihebabyjustlookedupathimwiththatgreatbigsmilethatissocharacteristicofbabies。Whatdidthatgentlemando?
“JustwhatyouandIwoulddo,ofcourse;hesmiledbackatthebaby。Sooruckupaversationwiththewomanaboutherbabyandhisgrand,andsooirerejoinedin,andtheboredomandteediandenjoyableexperience。”
Anihatdoesn’tfoolaismeidweresentit。Iamtalkingaboutarealsmile,aheartwarmingsmile,asmilethatwithin,thekindofsmilethatwillbringagoodprithemarketplace。
ProfessorJamesV。Mell,apsychologistattheUyofMi,expressedhisfeelingsaboutasmile。“Peoplewhosmile,”hesaid,“tendtomaeadsellmoreeffectively,andtoraisehappier。There’sfarmoreinformationihanafrown。That’swhyeisamuchmoreeffectiveteagdevipu。”
&managereNewYorkdepartmeoldmeshewouldratherhireasalesclerkwhohadn’tfinishedgradeschool,ifheorshehasapleasaohireadoctorofphilosophywithasomberface。
&ofasmileispowerful—eveisuelephonepahroughouttheUeshaveaprogramcalled“phonepower”whichisofferedtoemployeeswhousethetelephtheirservicesorproduthisprogramtheysuggestthatyousmilewhentalkingonthephone。Your“smile”esthroughinyourvoice。
TheoftheboardofdirectorsoforubberpaheUestoldmethat,agtohisobservations,peoplerarelysucythiheyhavefundoingit。Thisindustrialleaderdoesn’tputmuchfaithintheoldadagethathardworkalohemagickeythatwilluoourdesires,“Ihaveknownpeople,”hesaid,“Theonewhosucceededbecausetheyhadarip-roodtimegtheirbusier,Isawthosepeoplegeasthefuhebusinesshadgrowndull,theylostalljoyinit,andtheyfailed。”
Youmusthaveagoodtimemeetingpeopleifyouexpectthemtohaveagoodtimemeetingyou。
在纽约举行的一个宴会上,有一位得到大笔遗产的女宾客迫切想要给每一个人留下一个好印象。她不惜重金买来貂皮、钻石和珍珠,但是在自己的脸上却没有下任何工夫——一脸的尖酸刻薄、自私自利。她没有意识到一个众所周知的道理:一个人的面部表情要比身上的衣服重要得多。
史考伯对我说,他的笑容值一百万美元,他也许是在有意淡化这一事实。史考伯的个性和魅力以及让人喜欢他的能力几乎是他取得非凡成就的全部原因所在。并且他个性中最令人愉快的因素之一就是他那迷人的微笑。
行动比语言更有力。一个微笑表达的是:“我喜欢你,你让我感到很开心,我非常高兴见到你。”这就是小狗得宠的原因。小狗见到我们会表现出欣喜若狂的高兴劲儿,所以,我们见到小狗自然也感觉很开心。
婴儿的微笑也有同样的效果。你曾经在医生的候诊室里留意过那些等待看病的阴郁面孔吗?密苏里州雷顿市的兽医史蒂芬?史波尔告诉过我一件事:在某年的一个春天,他的候诊室里排满了前来给宠物接种疫苗的人,没有人闲聊,他们大概都在想着其他事情,而不是待在候诊室里“浪费时间”。他对我说:“有六七个人在等着给他们的宠物接种疫苗时,一个年轻女人带着一个九个月大的婴儿和一只小猫走进来。事有巧合,她坐在已经等得有些发狂了的男人旁边。当他扭过头时,婴儿正用那天真无邪的笑容注视着他。那个男人会做什么呢?”
“当然,他和你我的反应一样,扭过头去朝着婴儿微笑。很快他就和那个女人攀谈起来,聊起了她的孩子和他自己的孙子。不多一会儿,整个候诊室的人都参与了进来,厌倦和紧张变成了快乐和享受。”