第21章 爱人我在等你（第2页）

我在等你。

我在等你啊！

I'vealwayslovedyou。Al>

EvenwhenIwasyou，Irememberwantingtoplaywithyou。Butyoudidn'tlivenearme，sowe't。Ididn'tknowwhereyoulived，butIkifyoucould，you'dplaywithme。We'dplaycatch，orhide-and-seek，orwhateveritlay。Ilayyames。Iwaoteachmehowtoplaywithyou。

SoIplayedbymyself。Butyouweretherewithme。Ipreteyouwerewithme。Iedtoplaywiththeotherkidsonmyblock。Ihadyou。

Momalwaystoldmetogooutsideandplaywiththeboysdoor。She'tuandwhyIdidn'tlayinlittleLeagueorjointheBoyScouts。ShedidhatIwaswithyou。Ididn'tneedanyoneelse。

Iwouldn'tcallitloveatthatpoint，though。Ididnotknowwhatlovewas。Ijustwahyouverybadly。Ididn'thaveafeeling。

&heotherboysatschoolstartedtopaymoreattentiontogirls，Ididn'tfeelsobad。TheywerebeginniandwhatI'dbeenfeeliheyneededawoman。Andthegirlsheystartedtomatdsomeofthemarestilltogethertoday。Loveissobeautiful>

IsayIdidn'tfeelbad，butthatwasonlyatthebegiheywouldaskmeifIhadagirl。I'dsayyes，andofcoursetheywouldwanttoknowwho。I'ttellthem。IhadtomakeupsomestoryaboutmeetingyouwhenIwasatmygras'plaerva。Along-distahiheguysthoughtthatwascool。Otherscalledmealiar。Itriednottocare。Itriednottoworry。

AtnightIwouldlieihinkaboutyou。Iwoyouhaddoday。Didyoulikeyourschool？Whatwasyourbestsubject？Ialreteyou'dbegoodatEnglish。Ipicturedymelohowmue。You'dsighhugsandkisses。

Iwoimesifwaitingwashardforyou。Iwonderedifyouhadaboyfriend。Iknewyouwouldn'tbeseriousabouthim。You'dleavehimthemomentwecouldbetogether。I'dgetalittlejealousthinkingaboutit，though。IwahefirsttotouchyouifIcould。Thefirsttokissyouandholdyourhand。Youwouldbemyfirst。Ididn'twantanyoneelse。

Duriicedthattherewerefewerandfewerpeoplestillbythemselves。Everyone。Someofthegirlsinmyclasswerewearirings。Theywereproudsandwouldshowthemtoeveryohem。OnedayIweoreatthemallarings。Ipickedoutanieforyou。Itwasgold，withasmalldiamondiing。Ididn'tknowwhatysizewas，soIboughtomysmallestfinger。Ifiguredwecouldgetitfixedlater。Icarriedthatrihetime。Iwaogiveittoyouassooher。

&dayIthoughtaboutyourhandsalot。Ipicturedmyselfholdingthemandlookiihepalms。Itriedtoimaginehowsmallyourhandsmightbe。Hiletheymightbe。InmydreamsyouwouldtouchmyfacewithyourtihefiipswouldtouchmylipsandIwouldkissthem。

IworkedhardiudiedtlybecauseIwaagoodjobwhenIgraduated。Ididn'twantourlivestosufferbecauseI'tprovideforus。AftercollegeIgotawell-payingjobwithaninsuranpany。Aftersavingfortutadowowo-bedroomhouse。Ithadalargekitdagreatbedroomforthetwoofus。Ijustknewyouwouldloveit。Whehehouse，Itriednottobuytoomuiture。Ididn'tigyouwouldn'tlikelater。Justthebasics。

&imesIwouldsitohresholdofthefrontdoor。Iwouldstaredowandwatcheverycarthatpassedby。Onedayyoumightbeihosetedthattohappensomuch。

Thebedwastoobigforjustoneperson。Iakemyselfstretchoutorsleepinthemiddle。Istayedoeyouwerewithme。SomenightsIostheary。IwouldrollotosayyourIdidn'tknoas。Iwouldjustcallyou"Love。"

"Love？"Youwouldsmileatme。

"Areyouhappywithme？Areyougladyouwaitedforme？"

Youwouldn'tanswer。You'djustreadtouchmylipsandfeelmyface。Icouldfeelyourhandsonmyface。Youcouldfeelmytears。

"Iloveyousomuch。"

Theyearswentby。Itriedtoimagiy。Ikhere。Ikhepersonwho'smeabeouttheresomewhere。Itwouldjustbeamatterofwaiting。IknewIcouldwaitforeverforyouifIhadto。Ilovedyou。

WhenmymomdiedIwaslefttohahearrasmyself。IthadjustbeenherandI，andwe'dgroartoverthelasttwentysomeoddyears。OmassheaskedmewhenIwasghomeagirl。I'tsayanythingtoa。I'teveheeyestherestofthenight。Iwantedbadlyforyoutomeether。Shewouldbesoproudofme。Soproudthathersonhadsuderfulwoman。Itwouldbeperfect。

ButasIwatchedherbeihegrave，Ididn'thaveaandingwithme。Ididn'thaveaoshowmymom。I>

ThatnightIcried。IcriedbecauseIdidn'thaveyouwithmetoholdmeahingwasalright。Ididn'thaveahandtoholdorlipstokiss。Nothing。I'dhatandperhapsneverwould。

EagIlookedatmyselfihewrinklesaroundmyeyesweregettingdeeper。Myhairhadthinnedandreceded。Ihopedyouwouldloveme。Ihopedyoucouldstilllookatmyfadsmile。

"Iwanttoseeyousmile。"thenursesays。

I&#is。

"Ifyoudon'tsmileformeI'mgoingtotururs，"thenursewarns。Ihateher。Sheisalwaystryingtomakemedosillythingslikesmileh。Shehaspaininherlife。

Leavemealone。

"oestheTV。Goodnight，sir。"Shetursandshutsthedoorbehindher。Mysmallbedroomdisappearsintothedark。Ihearherfootstepsasshewalksdowhefootstepsfade，andthenallIhearisthedistanteyheart。Atearslowlyfindsitsillowddies。Myworldbeesquiet。

I'malone。

It'sdarkandI'malone。

Whydidn'tyouevere，Love？

Iwaitedforyou。

Iwaitedforyou。