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第71章(第1页)

章节目录保存书签

江乐风坐在一边看他吃了一会,突然就开始说话了“我爸妈在我七岁的时候离婚了,他们现在也都有了各自的家庭,我不属于谁,我也无法割舍谁。他们两个都身份特殊,所以对我很严格。但是相比我爸爸,我妈妈对我要求更高一些,如果我没有达到她的要求,会有惩罚。爸爸比妈妈还忙,他从小就缺乏我的家庭教育,也或许是这样,妈妈才和他离婚的。他对我也一样严格,只不过,他不喜欢在我身上花时间。”

讲到这,江乐风停顿了下来。他看着修漫,修漫也看着他。

“我不是一个幸福家庭成长起来的人,因为缺乏,所以我更害怕失去。那天你看到我跳河,是因为我突然发现,我失去了妈妈的爱。我对她的感情很复杂,我一直渴望能在她身上找到爱我的痕迹,但是我一直在失败。就算是这样,我也没办法停止爱她,这让我很痛苦。我之前一直不接受你,是因为我害怕失去,我害怕你有一天突然从我身边离开,而我却还像爱着妈妈那样爱着你,无法结束就只剩下痛苦。”

修漫的目光僵持,嘴里那点甜味现在也没了。

“不敢跟你说。知道我是这样一个人,你也还会喜欢我吗?”他露出了痛苦的神色,这一大段话说得相当艰涩。

他害怕修漫听进去,更害怕修漫打断他。

他想要爱,即便是知道他不完美也存在的爱。

可修漫只是看着他,没有说话,一如他昨天一样沉默。

--------------------

完美的雪

没人想在自杀未遂之后还要做一个深刻检讨,这是修漫沉默片刻之后得出的结论。

何必强迫他。

修漫在步步紧逼之后又开始做自我反思,明知结局将近,为什么又非得让他在自己面前剥皮一次呢?

他嘴边还有奶油,下意识舔干净了。那点甜这会撑不起他心中酸涩的流放。他转过头不去看江乐风,看着窗外无边的雪。

他说“江乐风,我好像真的爱上你了。”

彼时江乐风不懂这句话的含义,他甚至有些恐慌。什么叫好像?什么叫真的?

他慌张地看着修漫,希望他多说一点什么。

修漫却伸出了手搂住他的脖子,把他往自己面前揽过来。

在他的嘴角吻了一下,接着是他的眼睛,他的侧脸。

“我还在你身边,我就会一直爱你。别担心。”修漫试图让他靠着自己的肩膀,感受自己的决心。

他唯一能给的承诺,他唯一做到的事情。

江乐风抱紧他,听到了自己无意识的一声抽噎。

“你怎么这么爱哭。”修漫也听到了,他退开了些距离,捧起江乐风的脸,看他又红了眼眶。

江乐风自己也觉得丢脸,他的眼泪在谁面前都不轻谈,偏偏在修漫面前无处遁形。一想更委屈了,又落下两行泪。

章节目录

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