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- 第1章 老娘逃了（第1页）
第1章 老娘逃了（第1页）
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刘美娥是逃回了农村！而且还是趁着儿子，儿媳，孙子一起回娘家的时候逃的。此时的她盘着腿坐在农村老屋的床上，吃着熏鸡，喝着冰可乐，还刷着抖音里的搞笑视频，她终于激动的流下了两行浊泪：“这他妈的才是生活呀！”想着刚穿越过来的那两天，真是没日没夜的干活呀，堪称活牛马。早上五点多起来做饭，因为大儿媳妇给她讲早餐是重中之重，特别是小孙子正在长身体的时候，必须营养均衡。每日儿媳妇给她定下食谱，胡辣汤，小米粥，牛肉汤，小笼包，煎鸡蛋，面条，水果而且规定必须是现做且每日不重样。现做？！这好像是抖音里面那些月薪过万的家政阿姨，你让我一个农村小老太太对标五星级饭店大厨？这不是搞笑吗？一早上累的飞起，却得到了儿媳妇这个太咸了，那个太老了，这个面干了，好家伙真把自己当阔太太了。做完早饭你以为就没事了？错，还要送孩子上学，买菜，收拾家务。儿媳妇说她有洁癖必须做到一丝不苟。拖地，洗衣服，各种擦各种抹，累的腰快断了，又到了接孩子做晚饭的时间。又是煎炒烹炸，等着都吃完饭，各个坐在床上刷抖音开电视的时候，刘美娥又开始了新一轮的洗刷刷，拖拖拖刘美娥擦地的时候，偶然瞥了瞥儿媳妇刷的抖音，某某某的精致生活，果真是破案了，这家伙就是照着那些月薪过万的阿姨来训练自己呀。你要过精致生活，老太婆也不影响你，你得给钱呀！老太太的养老金你拿着，全家的活老太太干着，最最糟心的还跟亲戚朋友宣传你多孝顺，接婆婆来城里享福！享你奶奶个腿！穿越过来两天，累的腰酸背痛后，刘美娥痛定思痛，自己得逃，再不逃，自己差不多就要跟前身一样交代在这里。于是化身特工刘，在摸清自己社保卡和现金的存放地点后，趁着他们买着豪礼拉着孩子去丈母娘家尽孝的时候，果断携款外逃。凭借前身的记忆回到了自己的老窝远山镇。或许是倦鸟归林，回到家中的狗窝，刘美娥整个人觉得放松了。熟悉的大铁门，贴着渔舟唱晚的影壁，栽着石榴和葡萄的小院，地面还都是水磨石的，最最让刘美娥心心念念的还是那张两米的木床。躺上去太舒服了，终于还可以翻身了。要知道前身可是在大厅的小沙发上窝了大半年。回到家也懒得收拾，直接拿出铺盖铺了床齐活，饭也懒得做了。直接去旁边赵老三熟食店买了只心心念念的熏鸡又从小卖铺买了一瓶冰可乐，临了在面食店买了两个刚出锅的宣腾腾的大馒头，吃的那叫一个美。不得不说，好吃的还得在村里的，外边再怎么做也做不出家里的味道。原主心中一直心心念念的就是这赵老三烧熏，还有李拐子小刀面。镇上这些美食起名都是这样大气好记，最主要还指名道姓。这一顿饭，算是刘美娥吃的最舒心的一次。鸡肉吃了半只，可乐喝完了。没有糟心的儿子，没有喋喋不休的儿媳，更有淘的飞起的孙子，更没有做不完的家务。这生活简直完美。她到现在都不明白，为何原主不在家好好待着非要去城里当老妈子受罪？方正老娘逃了，爱咋地咋的吧。她都能想象到随着她的离去，家里指定吵成了一锅粥。管他那，爱谁谁吧，随后直接将大儿子，大儿媳，外加小孙子的电话全部拉黑后，倒头大睡，自己终于可以好好睡个觉了！：（）穿成六零后老太：瞧着奇葩一家子
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