Text C Japan The Ambiguous and Myself（第1页）

Text，TheAmbiguous，andMyself

——theureied）

KenzaburoOe

[1]Duriastrophicasalittleboyandlivedie，woodedvalleyonShikokuIslandintheJapaneseArchipelago，thousandsofmilesawayfromhere。AtthattimethereweretwobooksbywhichIwasreallyfasated:TheAdventuresofHuckleberryFinnandTheWonderfulAdventuresofNils。TheasthenengulfedbywavesofhHuckleberryFiIwasabletojustifymyagiainightandsleepingamohaseywhichIeverfindiagonistofTheWonderfulAdventuresofNilsistraoalittlecreature，uandsbirds’languageandmakesaurousjourney。Iderivedfromthestorysensuouspleasuresofvariouskinds。Firstly，livingasIwoodontheIslandofShikokujustasmyaorshaddonelongago，Ihadarevelationthatthisworldandthiswayoflifethereweretrulyliberating。Sedly，IfeltsympathetitifiedmyselfwithNils，anaughtylittleboy，whSweden，cwithandfightingforthewildgeese，transformshimselfintoaboy，stillifullofceaswellasmodesty。Oneatlast，ohisparents。IthinkthatthepleasureIderivedfromthestoryatitshighestlevelliesinthelanguage，becauseIfeltpurifiedandupliftedbyspeakingalongwithNils。

[2]AfterIgotmarried，thefirsttouswasmentallyhandicapped。WenamedhimHikari，meaning“Light”inJapanese。Asababyherespoothechirpsofwildbirdsaohumanvoierwhenhewassixyearsate。Heheardapairofwaterrailswarblingfromthelakebeyondagrove，ahthevoientatofwildbirds，“Theyarewaterrails。”Thiswasthefirstmomentmysoeredhumanwords。ItwasfromthenonthatmywifeandIbeganhavingverbaluniwithourson。

[3]HikarinowworksatavoaltraireforthehandiinstitutionbasedofromSwedeimehehasbeenposingworksofmusic。BirdsweretheinatorsthatoediatedhisanmusiybehalfHikarihasthusaplishedtheprophecythatImightonedayuhelanguageofbirds。Imustsayalsothatmylifewouldhavebeenimpossiblebutformywifewithherabundantfemalefordwisdom。ShehasbeentheveryinofAkka，theleaderofNils’swildgeese。TogetherwithherIhaveflowntoStoaheprophecieshasalso，tomyutmostdelight，no>

[4]KawabataYasuJapaoodonthisplatformasawiheNobelPrizeiure，deliveredaletitledJapaiful，awasatoifulandvague。IhaveusedtheEnglishwueasahatanese“aimaina”。ThisJapaivecouldhaveseveralaltersEnglishtranslation。ThekindofvagueKateddeliberatelyisimpliediselfofhislecture。

[5]UitleKawabatatalkedaboutauniquekindofmysticismwhidnotonlyibutalsomorewidelyOrientalthought。By“unique”ImeaeowardsZenBuddhism。Eveh-turywriter，KaictshisstateofmihepoemswrittenbymedievalZenmonks。Mostofthesepoemsareedwiththelinguisticimpossibilityoftellingtruth。

[6]WhydidKawabataboldlydecidetoreadthoseextremelyesoterisiheaudieo?Ilookbackalmosthtforwardbraverywhichheattaiowardstheendofhisdistinguisheddwithwhichhemadesufessionofhisfaith。Kawabatahadbeenanartisticpilgrimfordecadesduringwhichheproduasterpieces。Afterthoseyearsofhispilgrimage，onlybymakingaastohowhewasfasatedbysuaccessibleJapabaffleafullytouhem，washeabletotalkabout“Japaiful，ais，abouttheworldinwhichhelivedaurewhichhecreated。

[7]Totellyouthetruth，ratherthanwithKaatriotwhostoodheretwenty-sixyearsago，IfeelmorespiritualaffinitywiththeIrishpoetWilliamButlerYeats，ardedaNobelPrizeiureseventyowheaboutthesameageasme。OfcourseIwouldorahepoetiiusYeats。Iammerelyahumblefinatryfarremovedfromhis。AsWilliamBlake，whoseworkYeatsrevaluedahehighplaceitholdsiury，oe:“AcrossEuropeandAsiatodJapaning’s。”

[8]Yeatsisthewriterinouldliketofollow。Iwouldliketodosoforthesakeofaionthathasediyofnations”butratheronatoftheteologyirieeringanditsmaomobiles。AlsoIwouldliketodosoasaofsuationedinto“insahusiasmofdestru”bothonitsownsoilandonthatoftheneighbnations。

[9]Assomeoneliviwouldsuchasthisoneandsharingbittermemoriesofthepastimprintedonmymind，IotutterinunisonwithKahrase“JapaifulandMyself”。AmomentagoItouthe“vaguehetitleaofKawabata’slecture。Iwouldliketousethewuous”inacewiththedistinadebytheemiishpoetKathleenRaine;sheonBlakethathewasnotsomuchvagueasambiguous。Iottalkaboutmyselfotherwisethanbysaying“Japan，theAmbiguous，andMyself”。

[10]Myobservationisthatafterowentyyearsofmodernizatioheopeniry，present-dayJapanissplitbetweentwooppositepolesofambiguity。Itooamlivingasawriterwiththispolarizationimprintedonmelikeadeepscar。

[11]Thisambiguitywhichissopoehatitsplitsboththestateanditspeopleinvariousways。ThemodernizationofJapaatedtfromandimitatiJapanissituatedinAsiaandhasfirmlymairaditionalculture。TheambiguousorientationofJapahetothepositionofaninvaderinAsia。OheodernJapan，whichimpliedbeingthhlyopeoratleastthatimpededuandi。Whatwasmore，JapanwasdrivenintoisolationfromotherAsiaonlypoliticallybutalsosodculturally。

[12]IoryofmodernJapahewritersmostsindawareoftheirmissiohose“post-hototheliteraryseimmediatelyafterthelastlywouhecatastropheyetfullofhopeforarebirth。TheytriedaiheinhumanatroittedbyJapaaryforAsiantries，aswellastetheprofoundgapsthatexistednotohedevelopedtriesoftheanbutalsobetweenAfridLatinAmeritriesandJapan。Onlybydoingsodidtheythinkthattheycouldseekwithsomehumilityrewiththerestoftheworld。Ithasalwaysbeenmyaspirationtogtotheveryendoftheliliterarytraditiohosewriters。

[13]an’s“ambiguity”iureisakindoficdiseasethathasbeehroughouttheme。Japan’seicprosperityiseither，apaisbyallkindsofpotentialdahelightofthestructureofworldeyandealservation。The“ambiguity”iseemstobeag。Itmaybemoreobvioustothecriticaleyesoftheworldatlargethantouswithiry。Atthenadirofthepost-wareicpovertywefoundaresilie，neverlosingourhopeforreaysoundcurioustosayso，butweseemtohavenolessresilieoendureouratheominousgoutofthepresey。Fromaofview，aioinerityisgoingtobeiheexpaialpowerofbothprodudptioninAsiaatlarge。

[14]TodefineadesirableJapayIwouldliketopickouttheword“det”whigtheadjectivesthatGeeOrwelloftenused，alongwithwordslike“humane”，“sane”and“ely”，forthecharactertypesthathefavored。Thisdeceptivelysimpleepithetmaystarklysetoffandtrastwiththewuous”usedformyidentifi“Japan，theAmbiguous，ahereisawideandironicaldisaneseseemlikewhenviewedfromoutsideandwhattheywishtolooklike。

[15]IfyouwillallowmetomentionhimagaiallyhandiHikariwasawakehevoicesofbirdstothemusicofBadMozart，eventuallyposinghisownworks。Thelittlepiecesthathefirstposedwerefulloffreshsplendoraheyseemedlikedewglitteringohewordinnoposedofin—“not”a”，thatis，“nottohurt”。Hikari’smusithisseuraleffusionoftheposer’sowninnoce。

[16]AsHikariwentontooreworks，Iotbuthearinhismusicalso“thevoiceanddarksoul”。Mentallyhandicappedashewas，hisstrefurofposingorhis“habitoflife”withthegrowthofpositionalteiquesandadeepeningofhis。Thatinturodisthedepthofhisheartamassofdarksorrowwhichhehadhithertobeeifywithwords。

[17]Thevoiceanddarksoulisbeautiful，andhisactitinmusiccureshimofhisdarksorrowinanactofrecovery。Furthermore，hismusiacceptedasodrestoreshisporarylistenersaswell。HereinIfindthegroundsforbelievieheali。